he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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