last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
