just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
