Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
