My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
