yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize