If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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