i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
