he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
