My first STD was from a foam party
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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