Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
