There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
