those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
