I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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