: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I said "one day" and that day is not today
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
