I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize