Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
