i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
