i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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