My Higher Power is John Stamos
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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