with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
