I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
