i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
