he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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