new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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