I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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