Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
