Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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