Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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