Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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