My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
