Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
