There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
