covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
