Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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