i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
