Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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