I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
