You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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