in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
