Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
