Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
