We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
