i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize