Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize