Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
