Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
