Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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