Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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