don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
