Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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