she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
