i just google imaged poop.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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