There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I am naked and annoyed.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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