Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
