i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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