I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
