I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
