my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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