Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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